In just a few weeks, it will be thirty-one years since my sister Denise ended her life. I don’t mention this because I want anyone to feel sympathetic toward me. Instead, it’s a reflection of how I’ve continued to have a bond with her and my parents (Mom will be gone ten years this month).
After a hiatus of several months, I’ve resumed taking Chelle Summer to markets, all of them now out of state, including two in Palm Springs in the last nine days and in three weeks, to Los Angeles. I’ve been sewing away alone at home. Now that I’m taking all these items I created out in the world, when people compliment my work and admire my creativity, it also reminds me that this is a significant way I keep connected to Denise (and Mom, too, but I have other reflections I’ll share about that soon).
I have often noted how we sewed Barbie clothes and how Mom let us pick remnants on her many trips to the fabric store where we tagged along. We used patterns, but we also designed our own dresses. We were always given Barbie clothes for Christmas and found packages of the plastic hangers in our stockings.
This was just one piece of our colorful and creative childhood (encouraged by Mom) and it’s how Chelle Summer came to be. After speaking and writing about suicide, grief, and sibling loss for some years, I knew it was time for me to do other things. I didn’t know that I would create a lifestyle brand, but as Chelle Summer began to morph into something and people asked about my inspiration, I began to understand it’s a way that I keep connected to Denise and the childhood that we shared.
Each piece I create is rooted into seeds that were planted in that childhood and even over thirty years later, she remains with me helping me to continue to be inspired. When one man walked by and noted how bright my booth, with all the colors and patterns is, he said, “You bring your own sunshine.” And in that sunshine is the hope and inspiration to keep me going.